Two years ago, I made the decision to pack up my entire life and move across the country, alone. I was full of excitement and could not wait to stay my new life. When I arrived to Seattle, I realized that the move was more difficult than I expected.
I had only one friend here, and after I got on my own two feet, I see much less of her. I felt alone. There was also the issue of being far away from family and continuing my college education.
Believing that all good things take time, I waited for things to get better. I wait to make friends, to experience my 20s the way they should be. I grew impatient, I felt that the connections I made were ingenuine. It took me time to realize that I was growing into the life that I wanted to live. My perspective was what was off and making me feel like something was missing.
1) You do not have to be in constant contact with someone to be their friend.
I see a lot of people struggle with this, not only myself. If I do not talk to someone every day or see them frequently, I assumed they did not want to be my friend and I believed I was a burden to them.
Yet, I was amazed how when we finally got time to get together, everything snapped back into place. They asked my about school, my relationship, and even remembered my cat's name. They listened to whatever problems I have at the time and give me the shove they believe to be best for me. Despite not seeing them in a long time, they still cared about me.
Life gets busy sometimes. Because of that, it can be easy to lose free time to see those close to you. My depression made me believe that I had no one, when I really had people cheering for me all along from afar.
2) To experience life, you cannot stay at home.
There is nothing more tempting than staying in bed all day on a Saturday. We get tired during the week and often want to relax on the days we have to ourselves. This isolates us from the best parts of life.
It was easy for me to grow bored with life when I spent all of mine in bed or on the couch. Whenever I started saying "yes" to imagine rather than staying in, I realized how much I was missing out on. I went to concerts, I meet people for drinks. The more I said "yes" to invitations, I found that I got invitations more often.
It eventually got to the point where, even I'm tired, grabbing a beer with my co-workers after closing is exactly what I want. I still enjoy home time, but the more I got out, the easier it became.
3) Politics doesn't give you an excuse to be rude.
This lesson I learned from observing other people. I have been guilty of this in the past. The 2016 election and everything since then has made that difficult. However, lashing out at the opposition isn't going to get anything done.
The one thing that got to me was a sense of moral superiority surrounding politics. This happens across lines, the left and the right always at odds with each other. Yet, it happens between people on the same side right now.
For example, hearing someone say "I thought we were a progressive city" when their ideal course of action is taken, but an approach that would generally be considered progressive is still taken. This made me question my values. Are my values what I think they are, or are they actually the exact opposite? I identify as progressive, but when other progressives dismiss anything other than their course of action, it adds division along people who otherwise would be united.
We have to stop doing this. It didn't contribute to constructive conversation and only turns people of to whatever you have to say.
Whether these lessons came from age or by moving, I am not sure. I strongly attribute them to a new life situation, but I hope that they can offer you an fresh perspective.
